I wanted to talk about this first in a really basic way since it’ll come up as we go.
So very scandalous! Nah, our relationship seems really normal to me. Overall, been with Viking boyfriend for just about 13 years and then all together for about 4 years. We have lived all together for most of that with a brief space in the middle where sharktastic girlfriend lived in a different city. So. Much. Driving.
Anyway, if people actually start to follow this and get all confused and questiony, like, “UGH! I’M SO CONFUSED ABOUT WHETHER YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR A GIRLFRIEND!!!” The answer is both. We’re out to most people. There are a couple exceptions that include my parents (which may change soon) and the insurance company. ‘Cause if they knew, Viking boyfriend wouldn't be able to be a domestic partner on my insurance. Technically, I had to sign a piece of paper saying we’re monogamous for him to be a domestic partner – because insurance companies are all up in yo’ shit giving you a hard time based on outdated morality.
Whenever people find this out about me they have some pretty funny questions that aren't all that risqué. So, preemptively, I’m going to answer them:
- So, how exactly did that end up happening?
My boyfriend and I had a semi-open relationship before meeting our girlfriend. She started by hanging out with the boyfriend. When he realized he liked spending time with her in a more-than-friends way, we talked about how I felt about it. We didn't do everything the best way possible, but after awhile we got it all figured out. Her and I knew about each other from the beginning, so there was no sneakiness.
- Where does everyone sleep?
We used to switch around cause all we had were two queen beds. Now we have a king sized bed! It’s awesome! We all fit in one bed and there’s still plenty of space. We switch the assortment up, but I’m never in the middle because I get too hot.
- Do you go on dates?
Yep. All together and in pairs. We really do our best to maintain “couple time” between each other.
- How do you sit at restaurants? What about the car?
99.9% of the time, the girls sit together. We talk more, so that makes it easier. We almost always sit in the front of the car together, too, with boyfriend in the back so he can read with fewer distractions.
- How is closet space divided? There are two girls…
I wish I could say we split it all even, but that would be the biggest lie EVER. I have WAAAAAAAY more clothes. Right now I have the entire guest room closet and half of the master bedroom closet. Boyfriend and girlfriend split the other half of the closet for their work clothes. They also share a dresser… which is much smaller than my dresser… that I fill completely on my own. And that’s after I recently got rid of about a third of my clothing. I love clothes. The bathroom space is not as bad… but almost. I have my own drawer full of jewelry, makeup, hair product, and bath stuff. But it’s not as bad as the closet situation.
- Do you have shared bank accounts?
NOSEY! Nope, we have separate accounts but share the expenses based on what everyone makes. It’s all totally fair and no one gets butt hurt if someone spends money on themselves.
- When do you get alone time?!
Boyfriend is an introvert who needs lots of alone time, so we try out best to make sure he gets it. Girlfriend spends all her free time studying (still in college right now) so she has no time to herself that isn’t in a science book. Me? I try to squeeze it in where I can. I knit and take baths at night so that’s a good chunk of time for just me. I also often spend time with my family without the posse and play Skyrim all by myself. That’s pretty much all I need cause I’m REALLY extroverted so usually I’m begging for together time more often than alone time.
- Are people shitty to you?
Eh, sometimes. Most of the time it’s passive. It is rare that someone can even tell we’re all together in that way and when they do, they just get really awkward. They’ll refuse to call them my boyfriend and girlfriend (they get called “friends” or “roommates”) or they’ll say “It’s going to be all separate checks, right?” No one has ever called us degenerates to our face, but hearing people compare multipartner relationships to bestiality on TV really sucks. It’s very hurtful. Even lots of people in the LGBT community hate on multipartner relationships. One day we’ll get rights, but I don’t know if it will be in my lifetime.